Dreams

I am walking through a hospital.
Everything seems perfectly normal at first, except for the fact that I can barely see anything.
Suddenly a monster bursts out of the hallway, overturning every thing insight: gurneys, nurses, and random sheep. I reach for a pistol on a nearby counter. I begin firing at the creature as it falls down at my feet. As I see it more closely, I notice it has the face of a grizzly bear and the body of an ape. This does not bother me at all and is not at all usual.

I suddenly have been transported to a hotel suite.
My sight has returned and  I am hiding with my family, Hermione Granger , and the President of the United States. Everyone in the hotel is trying to prepare for an attack that will come any second. The halls are dark with no windows. Suddenly the door breaks down. KILLER BUNNIES!!! They charge in biting and hacking into all that they see. I thrust a sword that has just appeared into one of the bunnies. Hacking down several more afterwards. It becomes apparent that I am losing the fight and I leap out the window, and land on my feet several floors bellow, unharmed.

I am on a mountain peak.
The mobsters are chasing after me. One particularly large one is approaching, brandishing a lamp as a club and throwing books at me. I trip and fall. This is the end! I brace myself for the pounding I am about to get.

Then it suddenly comes to me....

Why was I in a hospital, and a hotel suite a few seconds ago? Why were bunnies and monsters and mobsters attacking me? Why was I with Hermione and the President? Why are the mobsters throwing books at me and brandishing strange weapons?

I'm in a dream!

I turn around, I slam the mobster in the face, knocking him out cold. I pick him up and hurl him off the cliff. His fellows turn pale and run with their tails between their legs (literally). I shoot lightning and fire out at them as a reminder not to mess with some one who knows that they are in a dream.

I am left to myself again. I grow tired. The world becomes fuzzy again. I collapse...

....and I find myself my bed. I turn towards the clock, its glow piercing through the darkness of the room. I have a few hours left...

to worry about the state that my mind is in.

               How to create a how to list

1.) Think of a process people don't know very much about. If you make "how to breathe list", chances are it is not going to help any one very much. It has to be something that will interest a great number of the people of the world. Advice that is crucial to mankind. Such as:

                                                 "How to not act like an idiot."

2.) Think of step by step processes to learn how to accomplish the task at hand. They require at least 2 steps but any amount more than that will do. Include multiples of 5 on the number of steps if you have OCD, 7 if you want to create habits for highly effective teenagers, and 10 if you like the classic, catchy, keep it simple lists

Such examples would include these: 

Step one: Avoid useless trivia. 

Step two: learn social skills from the people around you. 

3.) Create certain bullets that are funny (or at least funny to you). This will either gain the interest of the reader or their sympathy for you as they watch you try to make a joke. For example: 

Step three: regarding emotions follow Queen Elsa: "Conceal don't feel, don't let them KNOW!!!" 

4.) Make explanation to those steps. The reader doesn't want to blindly follow a how to list with vague instructions. Who would do that? 

Step one: Avoid useless trivia. 

This is too say any culture in which it is socially unacceptable to know where Russia is on the map (DA BIG RED ONE THAT'S SPILLING INTO UKRAINE!!!) but it is completely fine to know every single day in the life of the Kardashians. News flash the knowledge that you find on TV, or video games, or tabloids will never be used on a Test, or job application. 

Step two: learn social skills from the people around you.

 Unless of course you are surrounded by pigs, in which case you are not the idiot in your group but sadly you have other problems. It is important for your sake and for the sake of others who feel embarrassed for you to know that there is a time and place to be quiet and cool and another time to just let it all out. 

Look around at the other computers around you if you're in a library or computer lab or some cafe where people read stuff on their computer all day. If those people reading this list right now, don't model your behavior after them, they're just as clueless as you.

Step three: Regarding emotions, follow Queen Elsa: "Conceal don't feel, don't let them KNOW!!!" 

If you are taking a test in the middle of class or are in a large discussion, it is wise not to start roaring with laughter because of a joke that was told to you yesterday that you just remembered. Or by yelling something completely unnecessary and unusual, such as the size of a individual's nose (see step two). 

5.) Create catchy jingles that will get stuck in their head. This step is sometimes tricky but it is usually the step that sticks in the reader's head the longest.

Step four: No matter what you now like doing, the most important thing is schooling. 

So what if you'll never use algebra again. So what if you're going to become the best football player in the world. Learn the knowledge now so that you can make it to a school and use something that you DO want to do. Don't bank on sports, not many people make it and you'll want a back up plan.

6.)Wrap it up. Close with the final step. The one that is most crucial for people to know. The grand finale of your orchestra of advice.

Step five: Be yourself but self monitor. You can still do this. You can still like things that may not be acceptable by the status quo. You can fulfill your interests without being called an idiot. If you like Pokemon though and you're in college it's probably best not to have a loud and public discussion about if Charizard or Blastiose would win in a fight (Blastiose). Do it with some friends that you know like this sort of thing in a quiet manner without a whole bunch of people listening in.

7.) Get the list out. Why create a list without showing people? You could create it to help yourself but, again, See end of Step two on the "How to not act like an idiot".

                                                                   

Envy

Envy is one of the seven deadly sins, but that doesn't stop people from becoming jealous.

For Athletes 
Author Unknown

There are little eyes upon you, And they're watching night and day; There are little ears that quickly Take in every word you say; There are little hands all eager To do anything you do; And a little boy who's dreaming Of the day he'll be like you. You're the little fellow's idol, You're the wisest of the wise, In his little mind about you, No suspicions ever rise; He believes in you devoutly, Hold, that all you say and do, He will say and do, in your way When he's grown up like you. There's a wide-eyed little fellow, Who believes you're always right, And his ears are always open, And he watches day and night; You are setting an example Every day in all you do, For the little boy who's waiting To grow up to be like you.

I personally am envious of the athletes who perform well. They are always so strong and are able to do so much more than I can. 

They are also more admired by people. No one really cares about the people who are the scholars and learners. Those things (particularly at lone peak) are common place and do not show on the outside appearance of the person. They love the people who can run 70 yards for a touch down, who can make a three point shot with ease on the basketball court, and who can hit a home run in baseball. 

I also am jealous of the popularity of the athletes who perform well. They are able to talk to people with ease and  do not lack self confidence. I also notice that the football players have a knack for becoming Student Body Presidents at Lone peak, but maybe that's just me.

Road Kill

I was walking though one day,
 I saw it, pale and still
It's coat catching sun lit rays:
A Piece of Fresh Road Kill

And others had seen it too
It was a trail head road
But they had big things to do
and cared not for the toad

I stopped and knelt by this thing
It's eyes stared blankly straight
This was once a living being
Then it opened his gate

"Oh such was I", Said the toad
"To squander and waste life
To end it all on the road
Always having great strife!"

To the Toad I then said...
Well, I mean I then screamed:
"GO BACK AGAIN TO THE DEAD!"
I ran way from the fiend