I love my family
My Dad with his deep knowledge of scriptural doctrine
My Mom who works 24/7 365 days of the year helping others
My First Brother, who has remained my best friend for 16 1/2 years
My Second Brother, who I can tickle and through whom I can relive my childhood
My Third Brother, who I can read too and cuddle with
and My sister, who has been a second mother to my second and third brother.

I get passionate about social issues, and read the news whenever I can to find more issues to debate and discuss with others.

I am a hardcore no regrets no hold back fan of Christmas and Anything Disney (except for the Disney Channel)

I have never had a girl friend
I have never been kissed
I have never paired off

I have remained hidden in the crowds at Lone Peak. I have been the individual who though you see me and recognize me in the hallways, you can never put a name on me.
I am the one that has always almost been recognized by others at the school, but have always had the chance to stand out, snatched from me.

I am the majority of the students at Lone Peak High School. I am not in the Student Council, I am not in the sports, I am not in the Music groups. I am the academic, the scholar. I believe that school is the most important thing that a teenager can do, and that the most important thing to do during it is to learn.

In my opinion, it does not matter who was the prom royalty
Who was the Varsity Sports start
Who was the Cutest couple
Or even who was the smartest

In my opinion, it is how much the student has grown that matters
and what they can can offer the WORLD.

TO MOTHER....

She has taught me the right and the wrong.
She has suffered through my acts of selfishness
She has walked the same painful steps that I have walked
She has shown mercy when it was not deserved
She has taught me of peace 
She has taught me of love
She has raised me to believe that I exist to help the world, and not the other way around.
She has been an example of what a parent is.

A Mother is not simply one who gave birth to a child
A Mother is the one who stayed up late for every school project their child had
A Mother is the one who goes to the baseball games of the boy
A Mother is the one who when her daughter comes home crying from embarrassment, will have a plate of fresh cookies and a mouth full of advice.
A Mother is the one who teaches you about life by the way she lives it.
A Mother does not necessarily meet all your wants
But a True Mother.....Will make sure that your needs are met, even if you don't want them to.

AND THAT IS THE GREATEST QUALITY OF TRUE MOTHERS!    

 "I believe it is by divine design that the role of motherhood emphasizes the nurturing and teaching of the next generation."
 - Elder L. Tom Perry 

I Remember.....

........When the hardest math was division
........When the longest paper I wrote was two pages long
........When the hardest work day was just 7 hours of school
........When the worst word anyone could say was stupid
........When the best days would be the ones when we went to McDonalds for a happy meal
........When the first time I went on a plane I thought it was doing a loop, because it was going up so fast.
........When the words "because it does" was a legitimate answer.
........The first time I got addicted to a book
........The summer days at the pool by my house.
........A world in which Political Correctness didn't mean "I'm morally right and you're not"
.........My cat, who always loved me and hated everyone else.
.........Walking a handcart through mud and water across the Wyoming plains
........The rain
........The tornadoes
........The crushes
........The hate
........Therefore, I am

Sad chairs

                                "No One Pays Attention To Me..."

Blackout Poetry

Morons is dumb

"A word to the wise ain't necessary-it's the stupid ones that need the advice"
- Bill Cosby

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former"
- Albert Einstein

"In politics, stupidity is not a handicap." -Napoleon Bonaparte 



-Pearls Before Swine, by Stephan Pastis

Dreams

I am walking through a hospital.
Everything seems perfectly normal at first, except for the fact that I can barely see anything.
Suddenly a monster bursts out of the hallway, overturning every thing insight: gurneys, nurses, and random sheep. I reach for a pistol on a nearby counter. I begin firing at the creature as it falls down at my feet. As I see it more closely, I notice it has the face of a grizzly bear and the body of an ape. This does not bother me at all and is not at all usual.

I suddenly have been transported to a hotel suite.
My sight has returned and  I am hiding with my family, Hermione Granger , and the President of the United States. Everyone in the hotel is trying to prepare for an attack that will come any second. The halls are dark with no windows. Suddenly the door breaks down. KILLER BUNNIES!!! They charge in biting and hacking into all that they see. I thrust a sword that has just appeared into one of the bunnies. Hacking down several more afterwards. It becomes apparent that I am losing the fight and I leap out the window, and land on my feet several floors bellow, unharmed.

I am on a mountain peak.
The mobsters are chasing after me. One particularly large one is approaching, brandishing a lamp as a club and throwing books at me. I trip and fall. This is the end! I brace myself for the pounding I am about to get.

Then it suddenly comes to me....

Why was I in a hospital, and a hotel suite a few seconds ago? Why were bunnies and monsters and mobsters attacking me? Why was I with Hermione and the President? Why are the mobsters throwing books at me and brandishing strange weapons?

I'm in a dream!

I turn around, I slam the mobster in the face, knocking him out cold. I pick him up and hurl him off the cliff. His fellows turn pale and run with their tails between their legs (literally). I shoot lightning and fire out at them as a reminder not to mess with some one who knows that they are in a dream.

I am left to myself again. I grow tired. The world becomes fuzzy again. I collapse...

....and I find myself my bed. I turn towards the clock, its glow piercing through the darkness of the room. I have a few hours left...

to worry about the state that my mind is in.

               How to create a how to list

1.) Think of a process people don't know very much about. If you make "how to breathe list", chances are it is not going to help any one very much. It has to be something that will interest a great number of the people of the world. Advice that is crucial to mankind. Such as:

                                                 "How to not act like an idiot."

2.) Think of step by step processes to learn how to accomplish the task at hand. They require at least 2 steps but any amount more than that will do. Include multiples of 5 on the number of steps if you have OCD, 7 if you want to create habits for highly effective teenagers, and 10 if you like the classic, catchy, keep it simple lists

Such examples would include these: 

Step one: Avoid useless trivia. 

Step two: learn social skills from the people around you. 

3.) Create certain bullets that are funny (or at least funny to you). This will either gain the interest of the reader or their sympathy for you as they watch you try to make a joke. For example: 

Step three: regarding emotions follow Queen Elsa: "Conceal don't feel, don't let them KNOW!!!" 

4.) Make explanation to those steps. The reader doesn't want to blindly follow a how to list with vague instructions. Who would do that? 

Step one: Avoid useless trivia. 

This is too say any culture in which it is socially unacceptable to know where Russia is on the map (DA BIG RED ONE THAT'S SPILLING INTO UKRAINE!!!) but it is completely fine to know every single day in the life of the Kardashians. News flash the knowledge that you find on TV, or video games, or tabloids will never be used on a Test, or job application. 

Step two: learn social skills from the people around you.

 Unless of course you are surrounded by pigs, in which case you are not the idiot in your group but sadly you have other problems. It is important for your sake and for the sake of others who feel embarrassed for you to know that there is a time and place to be quiet and cool and another time to just let it all out. 

Look around at the other computers around you if you're in a library or computer lab or some cafe where people read stuff on their computer all day. If those people reading this list right now, don't model your behavior after them, they're just as clueless as you.

Step three: Regarding emotions, follow Queen Elsa: "Conceal don't feel, don't let them KNOW!!!" 

If you are taking a test in the middle of class or are in a large discussion, it is wise not to start roaring with laughter because of a joke that was told to you yesterday that you just remembered. Or by yelling something completely unnecessary and unusual, such as the size of a individual's nose (see step two). 

5.) Create catchy jingles that will get stuck in their head. This step is sometimes tricky but it is usually the step that sticks in the reader's head the longest.

Step four: No matter what you now like doing, the most important thing is schooling. 

So what if you'll never use algebra again. So what if you're going to become the best football player in the world. Learn the knowledge now so that you can make it to a school and use something that you DO want to do. Don't bank on sports, not many people make it and you'll want a back up plan.

6.)Wrap it up. Close with the final step. The one that is most crucial for people to know. The grand finale of your orchestra of advice.

Step five: Be yourself but self monitor. You can still do this. You can still like things that may not be acceptable by the status quo. You can fulfill your interests without being called an idiot. If you like Pokemon though and you're in college it's probably best not to have a loud and public discussion about if Charizard or Blastiose would win in a fight (Blastiose). Do it with some friends that you know like this sort of thing in a quiet manner without a whole bunch of people listening in.

7.) Get the list out. Why create a list without showing people? You could create it to help yourself but, again, See end of Step two on the "How to not act like an idiot".

                                                                   

Envy

Envy is one of the seven deadly sins, but that doesn't stop people from becoming jealous.

For Athletes 
Author Unknown

There are little eyes upon you, And they're watching night and day; There are little ears that quickly Take in every word you say; There are little hands all eager To do anything you do; And a little boy who's dreaming Of the day he'll be like you. You're the little fellow's idol, You're the wisest of the wise, In his little mind about you, No suspicions ever rise; He believes in you devoutly, Hold, that all you say and do, He will say and do, in your way When he's grown up like you. There's a wide-eyed little fellow, Who believes you're always right, And his ears are always open, And he watches day and night; You are setting an example Every day in all you do, For the little boy who's waiting To grow up to be like you.

I personally am envious of the athletes who perform well. They are always so strong and are able to do so much more than I can. 

They are also more admired by people. No one really cares about the people who are the scholars and learners. Those things (particularly at lone peak) are common place and do not show on the outside appearance of the person. They love the people who can run 70 yards for a touch down, who can make a three point shot with ease on the basketball court, and who can hit a home run in baseball. 

I also am jealous of the popularity of the athletes who perform well. They are able to talk to people with ease and  do not lack self confidence. I also notice that the football players have a knack for becoming Student Body Presidents at Lone peak, but maybe that's just me.

Road Kill

I was walking though one day,
 I saw it, pale and still
It's coat catching sun lit rays:
A Piece of Fresh Road Kill

And others had seen it too
It was a trail head road
But they had big things to do
and cared not for the toad

I stopped and knelt by this thing
It's eyes stared blankly straight
This was once a living being
Then it opened his gate

"Oh such was I", Said the toad
"To squander and waste life
To end it all on the road
Always having great strife!"

To the Toad I then said...
Well, I mean I then screamed:
"GO BACK AGAIN TO THE DEAD!"
I ran way from the fiend

I run through the house stopping behind a corner, painting and catching my breath.
I hear a bark and the bestial noise of something.

The creature has caught my scent 

I run for the door, my feet in their socks pounding on the floor beneath me.
I hear the claws of something scratching on the wooded floor behind me on all fours as I rush for the door.
I run out of it and close it with no time to spare.

The Noises of the creature sounding through the door, cursing in its fury.

I run to the backyard in an attempt to escape the beast and remain somewhere close to warn people passing by.
I hear the back door open. I pause. I hear a scratching noise on the patio and the door being closed.
I turn towards the door. the creature has lunged off the porch and is charging me.

Someone has let it out.

I try to run away but the creature is too fast and soon over takes me.
It tugs at the bottom of my pants and attempts to haul me away.
I, now forfeiting say:

Good girl, you caught me, 
I pat my dog on the head 

She seems to grin in triumph.

Why do We fear the Dark?

Is it the actual dark that we fear, the nightmares and demons that lurk in the shadows of the fairy tails we were told as kids.

OR IS IT THE UNKNOWN THAT WE ARE REALLY AFRAID OF?

We cannot see what is in the dark, so we have nothing to expect.

Is it the fact that the darkness of the closet at night is the reason that you pull your head under your sheets.
Is the unknown the reason that you creep down the hall, slowly, looking in every crevice just to find your way to the bathroom.

OR IS IT THE FACT THAT THE DEEP TERRORS OF THE MIND BECOME CLOSEST TO MANIFESTING THEMSELVES AT NIGHT?

A quick look in the corner, and a jacket could appear as the robe of a shadowy ghost. The sound of a branch tapping on the window, that of a bloodthirsty vampire begging to enter. The house settling into its foundations becoming the sound of a maniac, walking, slowly through the house.

Trying new things can be like the dark of the night. One can not see clearly ahead of them, but can get a general picture. The fears of the mind can blow the severity out of proportion such as: "If I talk in front of the class, the students may laugh at me and the teacher may ask for me to never step in front of the class again." 

These are the ghosts, vampires, and maniacs of the brain. It is very unlikely that they will manifest themselves in real life, but the fantasies may bind you from reaching for higher things.  

A man goes to a doctor and requests to have a cure to his sickness. The doctor asks the man a series of questions. The man answers truthfully to some, and lies to others. The doctor makes a diagnosis and gives the man a prescription. The man follows the prescription. He begins to feel better at first but his condition falls. He becomes incredibly sick. He returns to the doctor, complaining of the pains and the sickness he is now feeling. The doctor accuses the man of lying to him on their first visit. The man denies this at first, saying that it was not his fault and the doctor was a "quack" and accuses the doctor of malpractice. He eventually confesses upon finding out that if it is true and he did lie and he continues to lie, he will die of the disease and chemical imbalances in his body. The doctor performs painful surgery on the man. Pain that ripped him to his very core, and made him experience the very bowls of hell. He afterwards was placed on even more strict medication and, through much pain, recovered from his chemical imbalance, and then his sickness.

When we wish to receive honest and true help, we must be honest and true. The more honest we are, the more accurate and helpful the advice. Lying may either not help the ailment, or may even make the problem worse than it is, causing the process of change to be even worse. 

Coriolanus Snow- "Hope, it is the only thing stronger than fear"

What is hope?

hope is the feeling you get when that girl texts you back
hope is the feeling when your report card has all As
hope is the feeling when there is snow outside and you wonder if school could be canceled
(unless you live in Utah in which case it could be as cold as Antarctica and you would be learning about Calculus later that day)
hope is the light at the end of the tunnel
the last bullet in your gun
the time when you are driving so fast toward an intersection and you are praying that the light stays green just a few seconds longer

fear is the other side of the hope coin.
fear is what keeps people from acting
hope is what forces them to act

fear is what keeps heads down
hope raises people up

fear creates survival
hope helps people to live

fear is the oppressor.
hope is the liberator!

Somethings people need to be at a place to experience:

If I was to walk up to someone and tell them of a song, to play it with only my mouth, they would not beable to appretiate it because it would sound like this:

Duh! Duh! DUUUUUUUHHHHH!
Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh-Duh-Duh-Duh-Duh-Duh-Duh-Duh-Duh-DUUUUUHHHH!

Reading the song tune is even worse! You can't relate or know how the song goes, you can only imagine, or make fun of me for typing like a complete idiot (the song was supposed to be Tchaikovsky's 1812 overture.)

We can't relate to others experiences very easily either.

We can read about them, which may cause us to view the experience as strange. We can get close to the experience, which may cause us to better appreciate the experience, but we can not fully understand until we experienced it.

Just as how people feel differently about life depending on        how they live, people feel differently about death:

There were two old men sitting together in a  room. The hour was late and the night quiet. 

The Grim Reaper then emerged from the shadows. He said that their time was up, that they would all die that night and would be able to say some last things that the reaper would tell their families. 

The first man was addressed. He screamed and yelled and cried for his life. He was terrified of the reaper, he told him to crawl back into the very pit that it had spawned out of! The Grim Reaper gave its skeleton smile to the man, and in a calm voice said, "No man can escape death. All must be judged and are subject to my scythe." A flicker of the scythe and the man dissolved into shadow. 

The second man was about to be addressed, when a third man, younger and foolish walked into the room. He asked the Grim Reaper what he was doing there. The Reaper stated with caution that the man should leave. The Young man, not one to listen to the counsel of others, said that he would not leave. That he was his own person and he would do whatever he wanted to at the moment he wanted to do it. The reaper who was tired of this man toying and annoying him, scythed him down too.

The Grim Reaper, now exasperated, turned to the second man again. The second man, old and wise, held his head high and expressed to the Reaper that he had lived his whole life for this moment. That he was ready to take on the next adventure, the one of death. The Reaper put his arm over the shoulder of the man, and disappeared into the shadows of the night. Leaving the quiet and darkness of the night.

The first man represents the person who was not ready for death. He has lived his life in a poor manner and was never ready for the day of reckoning to come. 

The Third man represents the people who toy with death, who mock it and its power. These people do whatever they want and expect no consequences. Because of this, death may claim them earlier than others.

The Second man is who we should be. Living our life in mind of the moment when we will die. Knowing that we will all die, but because we do not die yet we can not leave life unfulfilled. We must walk with death willingly and at our correct time and not be taken begging for mercy.

school looked at in summary:

7:30- left for school
7:45- went to the first class
9:13- second class
10:47-third class
12:12- lunch
12:55-last class
2:15- went home

A day looked into more depth:

7:30- began walking to school, taking careful care to bundle up against the winter winds and snow
7:45- went to the first class, ready to hand in a paper that had been worked on for three hours the night before (much to the annoyance of your parents)
9:13- second class, not quite ready, you forgot to do your homework in this class because you were working so hard on the homework for the first class. Your heart races when you found out that it was due, and doesn't stop until everyone else hands it in except for you.
10:47- third class, trying to stop my stomach from growling and looking at the clock with obsessive rapidness, visions of subway and mcdonald's dancing in your head
12:12- FOOD!!!!! FOOD AND FREEDOM FROM TEXTBOOKS, TESTS AND REPORTS!!!
12:55- last class. Ahhh, yes, the test was today wasn't it......I'll try not to fail it too badly
2:15- went home (more like ran home screaming "FREE AT LAST!!! FREE AT LAST!!!")

"The only thing there is to fear is fear itself," Franklin Roosevelt

But we do fear. even though we shouldn't, that what happens just happens and that there is nothing that we can do about it. We fear death, even though it is inevitable. We fear hurricanes, even though we live in the middle of the desert. We fear other countries, even though they are on the other side of the earth.

Fears are un-rational.

This fact does not stop us from being scared. Scared of Ferocious evil animated robots. Scared of Flying extraterrestrials among royalty, or any other senseless things that obviously don't exist (which means we don't have proof).

Fear is what forces armies to turn and surrender

Fear is what makes people take the path of least resistance

Fear is what makes us wait to act

Fear is what tears down civilization. It's what turns a good and civilized person into a ravenous beast, clawing its way to the top of the food chain of life.

I am silent.

I listen to a mix of the rain pouring down outside and the radio playing.
I try to tie in the beat of the song with the beat the windshield wipers play with the dashboard. I become frustrated when it doesn't work.

I am on my way to an appointment.

I am driving through the rain and tapping the beat unto the car's steering wheel with the one hand that I have on it. I use my other hand to grab a root beer in my drink container and take a drink.

I try to maneuver my way through the cars so that I can be on time. Its hard because everyone wants to move slowly with the rain,

But not me,

I rush things. I want to get the jobs done now, so that the time I could spend relaxing is time when I have nothing else left to do.

I wonder if this is the best thing to do,

Should I enjoy life all the time? Or just when I have nothing else to do? Should I enjoy the trip back from my appointment in the car, or should I enjoy the journey getting to the appointment too?

Bricks do a lot of things

They build shelter

They build prisons

They create a way to move up in life (stairs)

They create a downward path too

They can build (either using it as the material or the tool by smacking it into a nail because you are too lazy to find a hammer)

They can contain fires and people, waters and forces

They can break windows and buildings, disrupt water and stillness

Bricks can create order

Bricks can create chaos

Bricks are just what we make them to be.